Of the peculiar assignments I see in the writing center, I see a renegade paper that justifies breaking professional conduct.

It’s the REsearch paper.

As a tutor, I liberally support professors. I remind students that a rogue professor will teach them how to deal with unusual or difficult people in the future. I also tell students to appreciate feedback, even when the professor focuses on superficial errors.

But the gloves come off when I see the REsearch paper.

REsearch papers are assignments in which the professor sets expectations that are not aligned with academic, collegiate, and scholarly standards.

For example, I’ve seen an assignment where the professor asks for APA 6. Okay, only that we’ve been using APA 7 since 2019. But then, the professor will show an example of how they want the paper formatted. Of course, the example doesn’t even resemble APA 6.

These professors are collecting paychecks and putting their students at a disadvantage. At my community college, the expectation is that students will go on to a four-year university. These professors are setting their students up for failure.

Now, I am expected to support professors, but when I see these papers, I tell the student to advocate for themselves, confront their professor, and tell them they would like to be graded by current and accurate standards. The professor needs to prepare them for their academic life after community college.

I also boldly tell the student, “Your professor is wrong to assign this to you because what the professor wants isn’t what future professors will want. They can’t make up rules to grade you by; that’s not how this works.”

I do not know how many students take me up on my advice. Still, there are diminishing opportunities to convey to the English department that real-world standards should inspire pedagogy, not the whims of professors who want to make easy money by dishing out easy grades.

REsearch papers include:

1. The professor who asks three or more questions on an essay prompt, wants a paragraph for each answer, and expects the student to write a thesis. The thesis in a basic essay answers a single question. There is no thesis in this kind of essay. It’s an essoid.
2. The MLA or APA paper that will be graded by the professors interpretation of MLA or APA style.
3. The annotated bibliography and essay in which the professor restricts scholarly sources to five years back. I mean… what the hell?

The “re” in research means “intense force.” The REsearch paper is just a “search paper;” it seeks a student’s energy in vain.